You!

Today I posted three times because all of my posts are dedicated to some of the most special men in my life. And I believe each one of them deserves his own post. So here I am for the second time today hoping you enjoy...

To Tyler,

This song is here for many reasons,

One, because with you I'm not afraid to be myself

Two, because I love you that much

Three, because with you I think of the future

Four, because you help me trust myself and others,

Five, because no one plays the games we play

And lastly because me...

I see you...

Once Upon a December...

To Nathan,

Someone I can't live without...

Because even though we don't remember

You said you'd marry me someday,

Because even though you call me Granger

You still jumped in that pool with me...

Because even though we've fought a million times

You stilled hugged me when I cried on your shoulder,

Because even though I won't admit it outloud

I couldn't live without knowing that,

Once upon that december

You didn't trade me for her...

Neverland...

To you my love,

To the dreams we once had, and the ones that will follow us through life. To the wise words that flow through our minds, and our child's heart at play. Because you love the story, and because I love you...I dedicate My Neverland to you...

May we never grow up...

Your Very First Lost Girl

Ever feel like that?

Lungs without air?

Ever taken such a trip?

That your breath was taken away?

Have you ever stood there?

Smiling when you want to cry?

Have you ever dreamnt of swimming with the stars?

Kissing in the rain?

Ever taken a trip down that road?

Ever went swimming with sharks?

Jumped in a pool fully clothed?

Ever dreamed the entire day?

Ever been so recless, people thought you crazy?

Have You?

Been there I mean...

To that little place in your mind,

Where you're dreams soar,

And your fears diminish.

Have you taken a fall?

That makes your heart stop?

That makes you close your eyes,

And dream of another day?

Have you left your heart to them,

to decide whether to break or fill?

Have you ever been saved?

Or even dreamed of reaching there?

Have you traveled Neverland?

Wished to never come back?

Have you ever hoped not grow up?

And worken up to see you're another day older?

Have you?

I have, done all these things...

And in the end, I'm still standing here,

Without Air,

Yet somehow finding a way to breath...

xoxo,

Chaos

Chaos

I'm back I know...took me long enough. So the point of this blog was to BS a lot. And personally I like to bs...a lot, but unfortunately that is just not working for me anymore. I know surprised...not as much as I am. I am of course unable to say that of all the weird, chaotic things I have talked about I did not talk about the weirdest and most chaotic of them all.

Yeah, I'm talking about...Moi.

I mean my pen name is Chaos, and there is of course tons of reasons why I chose that name for myself here are a few of the top, oh I don't know, 100.

4. Everyone says its the only way to describe me in general.

3. It describes the perfectly the mess in my mind that i thoroughly enjoy.

2.I can't seem to find a better way to describe my writings (as if you haven't noticed)

1. Basically it describe my life overall...

So when I say I must talk about all things Chaotic I must first talk about myself. After all it is only right that all humans should be selfish once in a while and I have decided it is right now that I want to be selfish. I am going to try to be as "honest" about myself as I can.

I'm young, (enough not to tell you all my age), yet my brain seems to be a million years old. It has little flashes where it just sends me into a wise and strange world. I daydream a lot and have mostly nightmares at night. (Which I had one last night, oh my god...) *small chuckle* uh...did I mention i get distracted? Well not as much as Kika but still.

I'm extremely clumsy and many say I'm a danger magnet, have a death wish, or am just plain uncoordinated. My mom describes as "If there was a large empty room with a single nail sticking out in one place I would find a way to walk over that nail and trip on it...." so yeah...

I love to write (as if you haven't noticed). My mother also had the pleasure of saying that "My daughter's favorite sport is sitting in front of a computer writing stories". Mothers, don't you just love 'em.

I have a knack of being depressing, and I try to lighten the mood and be happy, so that it doesn't annoy people. Because seriously how many of you want to be around people that are always throwing pity parties, right? I complain a lot, again you've probably noticed it before. I am also extremely sarcastic. Which you don't need telling to.

*Guys*

I have a lot of guy friends. Mostly because I think most girls are ruthless bitches whom i hate to put up with (I say this because I am a girl and I know how we are)

I'm much rather into a guy who is BRUTALLY HONEST with me rather than ROMANTIC...I mean being romantic is nice, but the truth benefits me more.

I am very blunt towards people, that often gets me into trouble. I have no secrets and I will tell you everything I think of you to your face (in the right place, at the right time). I would appreciate it if you did the same to me. I don't hate or talk shit about you just because a friend of mine thinks you're a bitch/whore/etc... Before I talk I make sure what I'm saying is 100% true.

I'm usually called a whore, (again a lot of guy FRIENDS!!! Nothing more). I get frustrated and really pissed off at the smalled things and therefore it gives me an anger management problem. Only because I hold my pain/anger to the point where it causes me physical pain. So please for my own health sake and yours as well Don't piss me off.

I love all my friends, and can't stand hearing someone even thinking about talking crap about them. If you have a problem with a friend of mine, do me and the rest of the world a favor, and keep it between the two of you because if you so much as even come to me about them well...(God bless your soul and the rest of the people standing in the room that will have to hear the stream of profanities that will become something my eighth grade teacher called "verbal diarrhea..."

I'm absolutely done talking about myself, my flaws, and my well...you know other things (I personally wouldn't call them strengths.

I feel very tired and unfortunately can't seem to think of a good way to end this post. It wasn't exactly what I was thinking of putting up here but that's what I came up with...So to all you faithful readers...

I less then three you (<3)

(Get it?)

xoxo

luv

Chaos

Manos....

To Brian, you make me smile when I cry, you make me laugh when I scream, and most of all you are always the unique, random and loveble guy I remember meeting in Den Of Lions 5 years ago....

I Love You Mano

_Chaos_

Today I was going to post up a very LONG post where I was going to ramble on and on about the stress that I have been putting up with lately, however now I've decided I'm going to just put up random quotes, because this post is dedicated to the most random and awsome best friend a girl could ask for.... ^_^


"Never laugh at a clown with a gun." -- Anonymous
"The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing." -- Lt. Frank Drebin in Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
"I buy women shoes, and they use them to walk away from me." -- Mickey Rooney
"Your request for no MSG was ignored." -- fortune cookie
"Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it." -- Robin
"Insanity runs in my family...it practically gallops." -- Arsenic & Old Lace
"Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living." -- Jaime Escalante in Stand and Deliver
"Sometimes a road less travelled is less travelled for a reason." -- Jerry Seinfeld
"He's committed pesticide!!!" -- James and the Giant Peach
"Well, I'm sure we can resolve this in a mature way. Right, Mr. Poopypants?" -- from Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
"Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?" -- from the movie Roxanne
“Before TV, two world wars. After TV, zero.” -- American Broadcasting Company ad campaign




Cry me a river build me a bridge do us all a favor and jump off of it.
A northern fairy tale starts out "once upon a time.."A southern fairy tale starts out "y'all ain't gon' believe this shit!"
Murphy's Law of Combat:
"Never forget that your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder"
SEXY; its not what you wear. its how you take it off
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers
for twins and then run around the mall looking frantic.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman
who'd be mad at me for saying that
I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights
and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.
You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign,
just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
The only reason Santa is so jolly is because
he knows where all the bad girls live.
Don't spend $2 to dry clean a shirt. donate it to the salvation army instead. They'll clean it & put it on a hanger, Next morning buy it back for 75 cents!
I respect vegetarians and their decisions, but my thinking is ~ I'm on top of the food chain here,
so if I can get it, I can eat it.
if a cow figures out how to kill me and eat me, more power to him!
Sex is like spades. If you don't have a good partner u better have a good hand!
The best thing about Alzheimer’s is:
You can hide your own Easter eggs
Don't get high on life: cereal hurts when it gets stuck up your nose
If you could read my mind...you'd be the 2nd smartest person on earth
I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me,
"If you could know how and when you were going to die,
would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget it."
When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep.
Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.
After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me,
'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

My Fav quotes from BRIAN!

Leonor: "Come on Brian, I gotta show you something..." *Brian starts walking with her suddenly he stops and looks at other kid.
Brian: So Junior, what are you going name your son Junior Junior?

Brian: Oh My God, Leonor, I just learned how to snort soda through my nose, wanna see?
Leonor: Sure *Brian snorts soda through nose*
Brian: Ow, I got gas in my nose.

Brian: Hey did you hear about, chocolate, the game?

Brian: That's racist
Leonor: How is me telling you my keyboard is on Caps Lock being racist?
Brian: Stop acting like you know everything. The variable X is not 4...Jeez. So stop being so judgemental
Leonor: God
Brian: Why are you bringing him into the conversation?

That's it for now

XoXo

_Chaos_

American Drama Never Gets Old...

Ah yes, the always classic American Drama...


Should I start with highschool? Why not, it seems most of the Drama in my life seems to drift off from there anyway...

My name is Chaos, as you've figured out with my last few posts, and even though I am brutally honest and disgustingly blunt, i happened to have a great few deal of friends who know exactly how to deal with me.

I have one very good friend, lets call her A. She has a what she thought to be a very good friend, well call her B. I have never heard A say one bad thing about B. In fact the only thing I've ever heard her say was that she was really pretty.

Now A was talking as a friend, may I add to a certain guy, we'll call him C. Suddenly B decides to tell A that she likes C. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Like WTH??? All of a sudden when he's paying more attention to A than to B, you come up all pissed off with this explanation.

Then B decides that she should start talking shit about A, for some God Damn reason. I mean A isn't even mad at her for telling her about C and now all of a sudden she talking shit? The worst part is that she decided to talk to all the people who like A. And let me tell you, that's a lot of people.

So let me ask the stupid question of the year.

If your gonna talk that way about someone, why would you do it to one of their best friends???

As for another girl whom, A decided was taking the wrong path and dropped her before she too was taken down with her...

Well she wanted to talk to me about A but I shut her up right there. I mean the last thing I need is for me to get in between a fight that doesn't even exist anymore cause they don't talk to each other at all.

She had turned to me in the cafeteria and asked "Do you still talk to A?" and stared at her questiongly.

"Well yeah, of course, I mean she's one of my best friends. I slept over her house just last Friday," I answered, my voice was did not falter.

"Oh," she seemed disappointed somehow.

"But I heard you guys don't talk anymore," I said. Secretly I have to admit that I was trying to pry information on what she brought that up for.

"Yeah, we haven't talked in like a year," she answered. I nodded. She seemed like she was about to say something, and by the gleem in her eyes I'd say it was something trully disturbing about A.

"Listen, I don't have anything against you, and I don't have anything against A, she's my best friend." I cut her off. "You guys are in your right not to speak to each other, but don't drag me into the confusion, because she doesn't. If you're gonna talk about her, do it to someone else because then you'll just loose a friend and she'd gain an even stronger ally. I don't care if don't talk to her, as long as you don't say anything to me about her, because I'm not turning my back on her. She doesn't talk about you to me, I'd appreciate if you did the same," I answered.

She blinked twice at me, mouth hanging slightly opened like you could hardly tell it was, unless you were sitting close to her, like I was. She looked taken back but smiled, and flashed those green eyes at me, flipping her blonde hair back she said. "Yeah, ok then," I could totally see the malice in her eyes.

Of course I told A about it and all she said was "WAY TO GO CHAOS," so my train of thought has led me to believe I did the right thing...

I mean it's a lot to put up with in your first day of school. But as I walked home that day the only thing that came to mind was...

American Drama never gets old...

Lovely Stories to Drown in the toilet

Today on the life of Chaos....





A small update on the European society. I quit! I quit after two pic nicks this summer. Grandmother is stilled really pissed at me but um...see my caring face??? (Obviously you don't but let me tell u, it ain't pretty)





So i have lovely stories for you all today...this is where the real BS starts piling in for you...





Okay first off I recently moved back to the USA, and let me tell you, I've already had certain mental pictures I'd rather not have. This one kid, who basically everyone hates and yet still talks to me for some God Damn Reason turned to me and was all "Hey guess what I'm not a virgin anymore," and I stood and fought the urge, a lot of it may I add, to say "Holy shit with what??" I mean, he's ugly and I mean U-G-L-Y. Like the fuglyiest you'll get. I really didn't need to know those things about him.





So now that I have your attention on these lovely stories I seem to always subject myself to hearing, let's continue...



I had a girl in my class last year, like I've said before I'm not going to mention names on here, but let me tell you something if someone can piss you off its her. First she tries to steal my boyfriend. Then she acts all smart cuz she fucking got one question right that no body else had... Hullo dipshit...you spent 9 years in Portugal...I spent 1, and yet I got the exact same grades as you....you're not that smart.

Than this other girl in my class is like always walking around with shitty sixth graders. Like for real freshman's with sixth graders. That's like me hanging out with my sister. Don't get me wrong I love hanging out with her but we have this mutual agreement that states when we see each other at school the only words aloud to be muttered to one another is "Hi, Bye, and can you loan me some lunch money," Now she is like f'n rich. She has three houses horses, donkeys, pools, a pond, i don't know a million things. Anyway she invited me for her weekend birthday party, she was only supposed to invite one person. The most irritating part of that weekend was that all she could listen to was "Rancho," which are bunch of old man playing accordion, young people dressed in traditional and fugly ass clothes and old ladies screaming into a microphone. Notice I said screaming and not singing. Because they actually do scream with this really high pitched voice.

This is why you can't do crack and have sex. People please just pick one. Other wise you're going to ruin some poor kids life by making them instant morons. And everyone knows you can't recover from IS...Idiotic Syndrome....

Buts that's my life, and half of Americans', right???

More to come later on, for now...

Chaos