The End!

In light of recent events I have created a new blog. My life has been on a cross road for some time and I've made the decision where to go. The past year has been essential for me, but the door of opportunity is ahead of me and I'm taking g the plunge. I'm starting a new chapter of my life and never looking back. You can now find me at www.openthechapter.blogspot.com

The name of the new blog is called "Sweet Innocence" and will explain all of this to you a lot better. Whishing you all the best of luck!!!

Xoxo
Chaos
(for the last time)

Portugal =]

So most of you probably know, that I'm portuguese =]

Power to the Lusitano people!!!




I'm going to Portugal this summer, I can't wait, the parties, my friends and family who I haven't seen in almost a year and of course...The beautiful sites, and wonderful things that are around there.





Here's a small picture of my town, anyone who is interested in a nice, peaceful, and beautiful site seeing vacation should consider visiting Portugal. The traditions and the people make it a great place to stay. =]








xoxo

Chaos <3

Stella D'Oro Strike =]

So as I posted before on the blog, there was a rally supporting Stella D'oro workers in the Bronx. These workers are looking at a 25% pay cut, loss of holidays and sick days, and cuts on their benefits. They have been on strike for 9 months. Yesterday (May 30th 2009) I went to support them. Here are a few pictures of how things went.

Me =] with the microphone doing chants.

I thought this was a fun creative way to get the message across!

Johny holding the speaker to my mike

Yasir holding one of our signs

Mr. Moussab holding a sign during the march.

xoxo

Chaos

Join the Cause!!!

Spread the word: Bronx Stella D'Oro workers have been on strike since August, forced out by the outrageous "offer" made by the company's new owners: cuts in holidays, sick days, vacation, eliminating health benefits, AND wage cuts. Don't buy Stella D'Oro! Ask your local grocery store not to stock their products, until the company bargains in good faith and the workers are back at their jobs. Union busting is disgusting! Boycott Stella D'Oro.

Join the cause, boycott Stella D'Oro.

Congrats Congrats =D

Okay, dear readers it is currently May 8th, 2009 at 10:59 P.M, and I'm going to make this post as short as possible!

I just came back from a debate banquet. I am very happy that I got three awards, WOOT WOOT! However, the point of this blog is not to congratulate myself but rather all of my friends whom I love so much!

Ok Congratulation Debaters:

• Both my partners:

1. Ana
2. Sara
   

• Ivelise (my Jimena, my sister, my best friend)
  
• Sean (my mister)
• Omer (whom i argue with a lot, but its a pleasure doing business with him lolx)
  
• Julian (my boo =D)
• Devane (my protector)
• Shagun
• Amna
• Jamil (who I love more than Eve, shh)
• Youssouf (who i helped what...once? lolx)
• Christine
• Kaylah

And of course the man who received the high award this year, and who helps us all 24/7/365...

• Chris (whom we're all very proud of =] )
  

I'm sorry I know I forgot tons of you guys but accept my apologies =].

Congrats to you all!!!

And Kick ass next year!!!

xoxo
Chaos

Question and Answer Session Part 2

Hey Everyone, yup I'm back again with a whole 'nother round of questions! I've been building them up for a few months and even asked people to submit the rest yesterday! Ok, now for those of you who aren't familiar with the Q/A sessions here in my world this is how it goes:

Overtime people text, e-mail, comment, call, or just plain blurb out crazy/weird/psychotic/inspiring questions. My job is to answer them all 100% correctly for your amusement, and my embarrassment. Why do I do it? Cuz its tons of fun and pleases you all!!! ^_^

So let the CHAOS begin....

Pledge: I, Leonor Dias, do solemnly swear to answer every single questions submitted by my readers one-hundred percent truthfully. If I do not, they are, with my permission, allowed to poke me with sticks! =]

Questions:

Sara asks:

1. If a boy were to tell you something romantic what would you want it to be?
If a boy were to say something romantic to me, I'd probably would like it to be "I want you to be mine". I have no idea why, but that's what came to my mind first, so I'm guessing that would be what I would like.
2. What mistake do you regret most?
I don't regret anything in my life. The way I see it everything I have done to this day, good or bad, has brought me to be the person I am today and brought me to where I stand. I wouldn't regret a moment of it.
3. What's the thing you want to do but can't?
Oh, I knew the answer to this one the moment I read it!!! Sky-diving!!! I want to do it so bad, it looks like it would be so awesome, but unfortunately I wouldn't be allowed to, and plus I'm extremely scared of heights. But who knows, one day I might do it!
4. What would you love to repeat?
There are tons of things I would love to repeat, however I think the thing I'd probably love to repeat would probably be the night back in Portugal, I slept over Emma's house (she's British) =]. We sneaked out to the castle, and jumped the wall we lay there for five hours and talking, joking, and looking up at the stars!

Alim asks:

1. What was your first impression of me and how did you opinion change as you got to know me?
I don't really remember what my first impression of you was, actually. Sorry! All I remember is Eve introducing us. However, as I got to know you I definitely learned you are not exactly like everyone else! (Don't take that badly!) I mean you're definitely unique. You're extremely smart, and a bit of a flirt, but its all good, join the club right?
2. Describe your dream boy.
My dream boy? oooo toughy...Ok I guess my dream boy is tall light eyes, dark hair. Someone who is extremely sweet and really honest, brutally so. Someone who knows how to have fun and make me laugh, that's a must. But also someone who knows how to be serious and mature. Someone unafraid to take risks, and someone who would be able to see both sides to a situation!

Yasir asks:

1. Scale 1-10, 10 being the best. How hot do you think you are?
Oh I'm definitely a 10!!! No, I'm kidding I'd probably consider myself an 8. Is that reasonable?
2. Is your vagina bigger than Stacey's?
Ok, Yasir seriously what is wrong with you and Stacey? HOW IN GOD'S NAME AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!!!! I have never measure my vagina OR Stacey's so I could not possibly know!
3. Who is your best friend?
I have quite a few best friends I can't just say I have one really, sorry. However here is the list (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
Ivelisse Tirado
Erika Martinez
Angela Fernandez
Nathan Corra
Yasir Lee
4. Who is your celebrity crush?
Ha! I love this question. Angelina Jolie!!!! And NO it's not because of her big lips! It's actually her eyes, they're dark, powerful and super sensual!

Brian asks:
1. Do you prefer Mayonnaise or Ketchup with your milk?
NEITHER!!! First off I don't like Ketchup or Mayonnaise, second with my milk? That's disgusting, who even does that? Ewww
2.How many do you need, to count the number of GUYS you've kissed: One hand, Two hands, one foot, Two feet, or more? (P.S. We are talking about an average 5-fingered human hand/foot)
Believe it or not, I need two hands, and the second one is not completely used in other words there are fingers left off not counted.
3.What is your favorite quote?
I have SOOOOO many, you really want to make me choose? Ok one of my very favorites like top 3 I guess would be "Be the change you want to see in the world" -Buddha
4.If you could have sex with any celebrity, who would it be?
ANGELINA JOLIE BABY!!! =]
5. When was the last time you cried?
Sunday
6.Last time you cried yourself to sleep?
Last week
7. When was the last time you wanted to HURT somebody.
Yesterday at dance practice I wanted to kick Nathan in his shins.
8. If you HAD to change one thing about you, what would you?
Normally I would say I wouldn't change anything, but since I HAVE to I would change my hair being so thin and frail.

Emilio Asks:
1. What is the craziest thing u have done on a date?
Jumped in a river I guess...
2.what kind of car do u want when u get older?
A black corvette...I wish lol
3.how would u react if your bf is cheating on u?
It's happened before and obviously I'd be pissed, then sad, and then I'd move on. What am I supposed to do? He wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore tho.
4.what do you do best?
Write stories.
5.what would you never do for your boyfriend?
I would never kill anyone/anything...lol
6. what is the most childish thing you have ever done?
I don't know, thrown a tantrum at my father?
7.would you like to have red eyes?
As awesome as that sounds...no. That's even more creepy than it is awesome!
8.what would you do if your bf catches you lying to him?
Why would I lie to my boyfriend? But anyway, I'd fess up of course, what good is it to continue?
9.what is the best advice you have ever received?
"There is no rose without thorns"-My mother. She told me that there is no such thing as a life without difficulties, just like there is no rose without thorns. Instead of trying not to get prickled or to fuss over the blood when you accidentally do, you should instead cut off the thorns and wipe away the blood that was caused in the process.
10.how far have you gotten with a girl?
All the way...home run! lol
11.what is your favorite food?
Lasagna =]
12. have you tasted your own pee?
EWW!! WTH? No, that is the most disgusting question EVER...I shouldn't even have to answer it. No I have never tasted my own/ or anyone Else's pee. ugh =[
13.who are you closest to mom or dad?
My mom of course.
14.what was the happiest moment of your life?
This one is a tough question. I would have to say the happiest moment of my life would be the time I published my first fanfiction.Weird I know!
15.what was the saddest and funniest?
Saddest, when my great-grandmother died. Funniest, any moment with Brian I guess =]
16. Do you like cats?
Yes I do!

Nathan asks:

1.If you could change one thing in the world what would it be?
I would end world suffering. Point, blank.
2.Tell the truth did you really get turned on by a gay guy?
Unfortunately yes -_-
3. What do you want to do every time I drop you in dance?
Kick your ass.

Well that's it...I hope you all enjoyed! Thanks to Sara, Brian, Emilio, Alim, and Nathan all whom submitted questions!!!

xoxo
Chaos

Middle

Today's post is for everyone who is feeling down...

My advice: Get up, go out, have fun, and live! Remember the parts of your life that are still amazing, hang on to friends, make a phone call, dance like no one is watching, and of course on such a sunny day...go out and have a water fight ^_^

Everything will alright!

xoxo
Chaos

Smile <3

Smile,
Breath and laugh
Forgive and forget
Dream of spring days
Days without regret...
Moving on isn't hard
I see a new beginning
The horizon isn't far
It is there for my taking..
I've dreamt of flying free
I've built my wings so far...
Tonight...
I take my flight
I shall run
Till I can no longer stand
Dream
Live
Love
Believe
Smile =]

xoxo

Chaos

I know this guy, and I think about him often. Now I know what you're thinking, I'm head over heels for him. I guess, maybe, not sure, really. But really what I think about when I think of him, is why I can't read him right. I mean I'm usually good at finding out what people are feeling, and what type of person they are. What their intentions will be, I'm good with people.

Not him though. I can't figure him out as hard as I try. He sent me a poem he wrote once. I'm going to show it to you guys, because he gave me permission to....

REALIST!

Realist

Yeah...

Imma realist

Sometimes people call me pessimistic

But I'm just being a realist

Always expecting things based on reason

Lookin for logic in decisions and outcomes

Acting in my own self-interest

Taking life in the worst way possible

But living realistically

Means no disappointments

But...

Something changed

I ventured into idealism

Not sure how it happened

But it did

It was fun

It was better

Things are better when you're an idealist

Its like a fairytale really

But its short lived

Or...

My trip on this drug called idealism was

Reality came knocking at the door

Yeah

Life is too cruel to be an idealist

Good things come to an end

And bad things end too

But worse things take their place

Calculation can be made

So that disappointment is avoided

But that climb down from idealism

Back into realism

Its rough

Its punishment

Its torture

Its a reality check

And rightfully so

Perhaps realism is my safety net

Something that...

Eliminates vulnerability

The world is ugly

But realism makes me strong

It prepares me to live

And survive

Yeah...

Imma realist

What I really can't figure out, is what could've happened to make him feel this way. It makes me confused, really. I look back at the poem every few days, I try to figure out what happened, what makes him feel this way...I really don't know. I wish I did.

xoxo

Chaos

Lakeland

So as many of you probably know, I'm part of the debate team. This weekend we went on an overnight trip to Lakeland Senior High School in New York. It was a suburbian High School, somewhere in the mountains, it was great for my cell phone reception, really. -_-

My partner, Ana, and I, were extremely nervous because this was our first big tournament as a team, we weren't so sure we would do well. We ended up doing just fine. We came home with a record of 5-2. Which was awesome in my opinon as a lot of the schools we went against, had awesome teams and help.

We ended up breaking to octives. We won against one of our own Newark teams from Science Park High School. It was really close though. We continued onto Quarter Finals, but we lost there.

I can't say I'm not sad, but hey, I think we did pretty well. I praise Ana alot, this was only her third tournament, and her first big tourney and she did awesome. Her speed was incredible and she really learned our case well. I think she did great and there was no way i was going to get where I did this weekend without her.

I got a third place best speaker award, which is cool I guess. But I want that first place one. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get a lot of them, just watch me. :)

I had a lot of fun. Eve, Ana, and I were in the same hotel room, which as you all already guessed was a recipe for disaster. Ana was completely traumatized. I don't blame her, poor girl. Eve and I kept throwing dirty jokes at each other, but then again, what else is knew. *goofy grin*

I did however had to put up with a lot of sexual comments from guys, that really made me want to stomp on their faces. Oh you know what I'm talking about. The whole "you and your partner are so hot, you know what I'd do? Permutation...do both" -_-

That was laaaaaaaame, and your absolute losers for coming up with debate jokes as pickup lines. Really bad pick up lines at that!

It was tough, and a lot of work, but I loved every moment of it. I want to do this for the rest of my life...I won't be able to debate forever, but I sure as hell am going to go and help others till I'm too old to leave my bed...

xoxo
Chaos

People Annoy Me!

So I've realized that a lot people annoy me at times. So I sat down (because I was EXTREMELY bored) and decided to make a list of what about people annoy me. So here is my top 10 list of things people do, or how they act that annoys me.

1. People who throw pity parties! "I'm ugly, I'm gonna be alone forever, nobody likes me," yeah, STFU. If you want a fucking compliment ask for one, don't go fishing for one, because the only thing you'll get from me is some very horrible profanities, that will leave you feeling like a total dick. Newsflash: throwing pity parties doesn't get people to feel sorry for you, it's just annoying as hell!

2. People who ask too many goddamn questions. Really is it necessary? Why is the sky blue? Because of it is. Why? cuz it is Why? CUZ IT JUST FUCKING IS! Do you really have to ask so many goddamn times?

3. People who insist on making you talk even when you don't want to. "What's wrong?" "Nothing, I don't want to talk about it?" "You sure it won't help you?" "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT" If I said it the first time, I meant it! Okay, if I wanted to tell you I would. I didn't let go MORON!

4. People who don't have the sense to leave you alone when your busy. "What's up?" "Um...I'm doing a quiz right now," You'd think they would leave you alone because your OBVIOUSLY busy, no instead they answer "oh wow, is it hard?" -_- I rest my case

5. People who automatically assume I know them. Newsflash: I don't know you, I don't care about you. I probably don't even like you! So yeah...enough said.

6. People who ask stupid questions. I know, I know, someone once said that "there is no such thing as stupid questions" yeah, and whoever said it was a complete IDIOTIC MORON! okay? So don't ask me questions in which the answers are OBVIOUS!

7. When someone is a total immature prick, and then tries to make you look like an asshole. Ok, here's my advice to you "grow a dick, find someone to play with it" -_-

8. People who can non follow the most simple instructions known to man kind. Seriously. "sit, good boy, good boy. Now Stay!"....away from me preferably!

9. People who make things complicated. Life is NOT that complicated. PEOPLE make it complicated. Stop making a thunderstorm in a cup of water. Freakin' Drama Queens/Kings.

10. When you do something unintentionally to someone and they get "revenge" by doing the exact same thing...really? C'mon, is a little maturity too much to ask?

xoxo
Chaos

Miss Kiss Pitty! <3

When my younger sister, Beatriz, was nine, and I was twelve, we easily grew bored of staying home and playing in our yard. I turned myself into a writer, I wrote poems and worked on stories. My sister's creativity went up another level. She created a character, someone she could dress up as and act as, when she got bored.
Now you'd think a nine-year-old would want to make a princess, or a beautiful character. My sister's imagination was sky rocketing and of course that meant that the character would be just as weird.
She created, therefore, MISS KISS PITTY! A overweight, messy haired, makeup running, overly larged boob woman. Miss Kiss Pitty's motto is "You want a kissh?" Then she proceeds to give very sloppy, and disgusting kisses.

It's been years.

My sisters has grown up and is currently twelve years old, the age I was when she first created the character. Miss Kiss Pitty grew with her. Now I film her skits. None of them are ever rehearsed, they all go with the flow, and are out-of-the-moment spurs of pure genius.
She's created a few fans along the years. One of which is Brian Bertolo, who is considered her number 1 fan!

Miss Kiss Pitty grows more each year, and becomes funnier as her subjects of conversation change!

Check it out

xoxo
Chaos

The Best Things in Life.

The Good Things In Life!

1. Apaixonar-se. (fall in love)
2. Rir tanto até que as faces doam.(laugh so hard your face hurts)
3. Um chuveiro quente num Inverno frio.(hot shower on a cold winter)
4. Um supermercado sem filas nas caixas.(a supermarket with no lines to the register)
5. Um olhar especial.(a special look)
6. Receber correio (pode ser electrónico.....)(getting mail or email)
7. Conduzir numa estrada linda.(drive on a beautifull road)
8. Ouvir a nossa música preferida no rádio.(listen to our favorite song on the radio)
9. Ficar na cama a ouvir a chuva cair lá fora.(stay in bed listening to the rain)
10. Toalhas quentes acabadas de serem engomadas...( fresh hot towels out of the dryer)
11. Encontrar a camisola que se quer em saldo a metade do preço.(find your favorite expensive blouse on sale)
12. Batido de chocolate (baunilha ou morango).(chocolate, vanilla or strawberry shake)
13. Uma chamada de longa distância.(long distance call)
14. Um banho de espuma.(bubble bath)
15. Rir baixinho.(laugh softly)
16. Uma boa conversa.( good conversation)
17. A praia.(the beach)
18. Encontrar uma nota de 20 euros no casaco pendurado desde o último Inverno.(find a 20 dollar bill on a coat thats been away since last year)
19. Rir-se de si mesmo.(laugh at yourself)
20. Chamadas à meia-noite que duram horas.(calls at midnight that last hours)
21. Correr entre os jactos de água de um aspersor. (runing under the sprinklers)
22. Rir por nenhuma razão especial.(laugh for no reason)
23. Alguém que te diz que és o máximo.(some one that tells you, your the best)
24. Rir de uma anedota que vem à memória.(laugh at a joke you made up)
25. Amigos.(friends)
26. Ouvir acidentalmente alguém dizer bem de nós.(accidentelly listen to someone talk good things about you)
27. Acordar e verificar que ainda há algumas horas para continuar a dormir.(wake up and notice that you still have acouple more hours to sleep)
28. O primeiro beijo (ou mesmo o primeiro com novo parceiro).(first kiss)
29. Fazer novos amigos ou passar o tempo com os velhos.(make new friends or spend some time with old friends)
30. Brincar com um cachorrinho.(play with a puppy)
31. Haver alguém a mexer-te no cabelo.(have some one play with your hair)
32. Belos sonhos.(great dreams)
33. Chocolate quente.(hot chocolate)
34. Fazer-se à estrada com os amigos.( let the road take you with friends)
35. Balancear-se num balancé. (balancing yourself on a see-saw)
36. Embrulhar presentes sob a árvore de Natal comendo chocolates e bebendo a
bebida favorita.(wrap presents under the xmas tree eating chocolates and having your favorite drink)
37. Letra de canções na capa do CD para podermos cantá-las sem nos sentirmos
estúpidos.(read lyrics of songs on the cd cover so we can sing along)
38. Ir a um bom concerto.(go to a good concert)
39. Trocar um olhar com um belo/a desconhecido/a.(switch glances with a stranger)
40. Ganhar um jogo renhido. (winning a close game)
41. Fazer bolachas de chocolate.( make chocolate chip cookies)
42. Receber de amigos biscoitos feitos em casa.( receive homemade cookies from friends)
43. Passar tempo com amigos íntimos.( spend time with intimate friend)
44. Ver o sorriso e ouvir as gargalhadas dos amigos.( see a smile, hear a laughter from friends)
45. Andar de mão dada com quem gostamos.(hold hands with who we love)
46. Encontrar por acaso um velho amigo e ver que algumas coisas( boas ou
más) nunca mudam.(reunite with old friends and notice nothing has changed)
47. Patinar sem cair.(skate without falling)
48. Observar o contentamento de alguem que está a abrir um presente que lhe
ofereceste.(see how happy tou made a friend who is opening a present you just gave him/her)
49. Ver o nascer do sol.(watch the sun rise)
50. Levantar-se da cama todas as manhãs e agradecer outro belo dia.(get up in the morning and thank god for a another beautiful day)
51. E ver a tua cara a ler esta mensagem.( watch your face when you read this)

Amigos são anjos que nos levantam pelos pés quando as nossas asas não
conseguem lembrar de como se voa.

Friend are the angles that will pick us up when our wings dont remember how to fly.

xoxo
Chaos

P.S. Live the good things in life!

Best Kisses!

Why is love the thing people want the most?

Because it's the closest thing to magic we have...

Cuz sometimes you have to live in the moment...

xoxo

Chaos

<3

Free Flight

Escaping has become the objective

Falling deeper than the sea

Falling deep into the abyss of my dreams

The colors that revolve around me

Contradict the blackness of my mind

I wake up in a world so lost

Run for the hills

Forget what has happened till now

I've seen it coming

Tonight will be our night

Today we'll be the day

We can finally call upon ourselves.

We've wept and and fought

We've gone down and been brought back up

Tonight...

We'll run and scream

Laugh and kiss

We'll weep for the lost souls

And dream of a better future

We take it upon ourselves to be free

And to free all others

Tonight its all on us

All or nothing....

I've been dreaming,

Growing, building up...

I've burst with excitement

Tonight...

I forget my past

From now,

We are invincible, if we believe

We'll take it and make it right

We'll change the world,

One step at a time

I've dreamt of flying free
I've built my wings so far...

Tonight...

I take my flight

xoxo

Chaos

convos convos....

I'm going to put up some of my favorite conversations I've had in a while:

Sean and I

Leonor: yeah...i feel so tired tho, i keep procrastinating
Sean: I procrastinate every day.

Leonor: its ur fault then...u passed it 2 me last night when we were talking, straight through aim...i blame u :P

Sean: I blame u then

Leonor: for wat? i caught it from u, what did u catch from me?

Sean: Boredom

Leonor: *gasp* r u saying im boring? wait...what? im boring now? well fine maybe ill just ignore u cuz u think im boring *pouts*

Sean: Nahh yesterday u were bored now im bored. Ur not boring..

Leonor: mmmhmm nice save -_-

Sean: I kno it was wasn't it? ^_^

Leonor: haha....u just admitted that it was a save....there for conceding to da fact that u think im boring....oh now what? lmao

Sean: Ohhhh that was tough. I didn't concede it u said it was a nice one

Sean: So there for it was nice

Sean: Ur not boring

Sean: The magnitude of my answer out ways

Leonor: no because u said it was a nice ONE, nice what? save, meaning it WAS a save....therefore agreeing with me on the fact that u were trying to save ur ass from me noticing dat u called me boring

Sean: Ohhhhh that was so kool

Sean: Its non unique, though

Leonor: how is it non unique?

Sean: Don't kno yet im lookin for wholes in ur plan

Leonor: bring it on...

Sean: Let's move on

Gadi and I

Leonor: Grrr

Gadi: Rawr

Leonor: Hsss

Gadi: wat?

Leonor: Chilly

Gadi: huh?

Leonor: What I like chilly I thought you should know!

Gadi: O-kay lmao.

Yaseer and I

Yaseer: Ok so the first one is like a hot spicy meatball sub that you just want to devour and is oh so good. The other is like oatmeal, its not the best but its warm and fills you up.

Leonor: Yes, and you can't have the hot spicy meatball sub in public because people will just think that you're a fat ass who wants to devour pour innocent meat. While the oatmeal you can eat whenever cuz its oh so healthy for you

Yaseer: I see, so the oatmeal is always safe to eat, but the spicy meatball sub is just too delicious to pass up.

Leonor: Exactly and I don't want the spicy meatball to get dull and cold but I don't want the oatmeal to get all lumpy and stuck to the plate.

Yaseer: So the question is, do you get the delicious meatball or the same oatmeal...

Leonor: Yeah...toughy

Brian and I

Brian: I hate it when people do that. They just say wow. That's it wow!

Leonor: wow brian wow

Brian: *Brian has left the chat room*

*15 minutes later*

Brian: Can we have a normal conversation without you saying wow

Leonor: wow brian, yeah.

Brian: *ignores*

Bruce, Gadi, and I

Gadi: Can you see Mr. Standford as a murder.

Leonor: Yeah I could totally see that. Just like DIE *STAB STAB STAB* DIIIIIE

Bruce: I could see Leonor as a murder

Gadi: Yeah sometimes...

Leonor: what ever.... -_-

Mike and I

Mike: Omg, and now she's having sex with him! eww. I'll brb

Leonor: O-kay....then

Mike:*without even leaving his computer EVER* Bak, and I've kicked his ass for her

Leonor:O-kay...I love you mike

Mike: *blinks* why?

Leonor: You share so much information dat i dnt want to hear. And I still dnt think your weird.

Mike: Aww thanks, what do you want?

Mr. Jay and I

Mr. Jay: G'morning Leonor

Leonor: good morning mr. Jay

Mr. Jay: We're going to be a good little girl today and let other people answer the questions today?

Leonor: Yes, sir.

Mr. Jay: You're not going to are you?

Leonor: Not really, no.

Mr. Jay: I didn't think so

Nathan and I

Nathan: God, keep your knickers on Granger.

Leonor: Shove it, Malfoy.

Nathan: I will mudblood.

Leonor: Stuff it ferret.

***********

*During dance practice, Nathan drops me*

Leonor: What the fuck was that for?

Nathan: I thought it'd be funny? and guess what, it was?

Leonor: You'll regret it

Nathan: What are you gonna do, kick me.

Leonor: *kicks him between the legs* I was gonna smack you but that works too.

know any convos i've had with you, you think are funny? comment the post and tell me about them!!!

xoxo

Chaos

Lights, Camera.....Photography

So how many of you know this? I love photography, yup you read it correctly PHOTOGRAPHY! I love it oh soo berry much! I remember Tyler used to get so extremely pissed off at me because I used to take too many pictures of him. But hey, his hair fit the era I was portraying and so did Oliver's Chain Link fence!

I have a few pics I have to find and show you all! Until then though, here is just a little post letting you know, because I haven't posted in forever and I wanted to put something!

I fell in Love with photography when my I began to watch my uncle take pictures. He told me "A great photographer doesn't capture the people, the places or the things. A great photographer captures the moment it all happens,"

I've loved that quote since, and its made me a great photographer, because my best pictures are the ones I take at the most random moments....

xoxo

Chaos

Cry

When I was younger I used to stay up with my cousin Ana Claudia, and we would explain to each other just how we dreamed someone would propose to us. Then we'd go into details on how our wedding would be.

I wanted a wedding outside, in June...24. I don't know why, but that's what I wanted. I wanted flower petals in my hair and beautiful white gown. I wanted my fiancee to mouth I love you as I walked down the isle, and I wanted blues and greens everywhere. I wanted the reception by the beach, and the ceremony in the grass....It was my fairytale wedding.

As I grew older, I began dreaming of a winter wonderland....I wanted ice sculptures and a room with a glass wall, and on the other side would be a frozen lake, with snowflakes falling. I wanted a December wedding, December 15th, seemed so perfect. I still wanted the blues, but now I wanted Burgundy too. My groom would still mouth an I love you, and everyone would smile at me.

And as I grew up even more, both my June fairytale, and my December winter wonderland seemed to be thrown away into the garbage bin. They seemed like foolish little girl fantasies that would never happen.

Now, I dream of a small wedding sometimes. I dream of a small one room church and just smiling...that's all I want, to smile.

So what's my issue today? It's all the other times, that I don't dream of the small wedding. Instead, I think it may not happen.

Times like these make my heart clench in a way that pains me to no end. I could not begin to describe the torment I go through. My heart feels like it has 200 pounds worth of pressure standing on it, my throat is clogged and the lump in it grows so that I won't erupt into screams of hysteria.

My eyes they water, not like a waterfall, but more like a the rain in the very beginning right before a storm. One tear drops down my face, then another on the other side, and so it continues. It's quiet.

I think what hurts the most, is that most people don't realize when I'm hurting. I can always tell when my friends are hurting even through ims, because I care enough to figure it out. None of them ever figure it out for me. I can be standing up right there in front of them, smiling and at the same time I'm thinking, "Can't they notice. Notice how broken I am?". And then I wonder if any of them would ask what's wrong, without me making it obvious that I feel this way first.

I want to change the world, I don't know how. I want to care for people, and I want people to care for me. I feel suffocated, like I have no room to breath, and no one is helping me get the air I'm in serious need of.

I wonder if any of the three weddings I have planned in my life will come to life one day. I think then I'll find it the happiest day of my life. The man who would give me that, hell, I'd never question spending my life with him, I think. (Then again maybe it will be a her...)

I think in the end, what scares me the most is that I'll end up like my parents. Fighting, yelling, slamming doors, and making my kids wish they had better lives. Making them hide in their rooms and listen to things kids shouldn't have to....

I wonder what all this could mean....

xoxo

Chaos

Quotes

Hey peoples!!! :)

So I want to show you all a list of my top 10 favorite quotes, I hope you guys enjoy! (By the way, if you know any of the authors that I haven't put up, please let me know I'd love to find out who they are)

10- The hottest love, has the coldest end. -Socrates

9- Courage is not the absence of fear, but the acknowledgement that there is something greater than fear - the brave may not live forever, but the cowardly don't live at all. - Anonymous

8- Gravity, my dear, was definitely not the reason I fell for you- Albert Einstein

7- The pen is the tongue of the mind. - Miguel Cervantes

6- Don't tell me the sky's the limit, because I've seen footprints on the moon. -Erika Martinez

5- A great photographer doesn't capture the people, the places or the things. A great photographer captures the moment it happens. - John Macedo

4- Which is worse - the sleep that never comes, or that which never ends?

3- What have to fear, but the answer itself? - Tyler Martins

2- The cruelest of lies are often told in silence - Robert Louis Stevenson

1- The greatest thing you'll ever learn to do is to love, and be loved in return. - Moulin Rouge

Secret of Mine

Yeah you've guessed it. Who would've thought, Chaos, would have a secret like that. I want to change the world. I want to wake up one day and think I made someones life better, I've made it worth living.
I want to have a morning come, when I shall wake up to the sunshine and think "I've made a difference". I want to make people happy. I want to teach them to live life to the fullest. Teach them to have fun and to care of others.
I want to make the world chaotic in the most corny and wonderful way imaginable.

I want to change the world....and just like the picture,

I think I can

xoxo

Chaos

In the Shadows...

A very big Thank You to Raquel who introduced me to this band over a year ago...love you babe!

"In The Shadows"

No sleep
No sleep until I am done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes
I feel like going down and so disconnected
Somehow
I know that I am haunted to be wanted

I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

In the shadows

In the shadows

They say
That I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I
I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow
I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder

I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

Lately I been walking walking in circles, watching waiting for something
Feel me touch me heal me, come take me higher

I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows all my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
I've been watching
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been living for tomorrows

In the shadows

In the shadows
I've been waiting

Moments

I live in moments of darkness
Moments of fear and coercion
Where my heart feels ice cold
And my mind is obscure
I think of you before I fall asleep
I remember you when I wake up
I dream of you by my side
As my tears filter up
I wish I could be with you
Now and forever
Or at least until
Us together,
Wouldn't be a sin
I dream of kisses
Of someone wiping away the pain
Dream of being in his arms
Dreaming of a better place.

I live in obscure moments
Moments I wish would go away
I live with your memory
With your name
Upon my lips each night
As I wonder
What life would be like
If we had just one night
I live in crepuscular moments
Where my nightmare come to life
Where my dreams seem so far


I wish to escape
I want an evasion
Extrication, fade out
I want to feel free
But I live without you
In ambiguous moments...

Subjected to mood swings

I have been such an emotional wreck lately. I don't understand why, one moment I'm hyper the next I'm depressed, then I'm happy and suddenly every freakin' person around me is annoying the hell out of me. I get completely mad and then I'm just bored and passive. *sigh* but heii it happens, I guess.

Anyone got advice? I have tons of advice for everyone else problem is, I can't follow my own advice. So do me a favor? Leave a comment and tell me what is wrong with me! And no I am not pregnant *coughmichaelcough*!!!!!!!!!

xoxo
Chaos

Sountrack to Your Life

Once in everyone's life time you get an epiphany. In mine I've had a few, here is another one...

I'm tired of the lies, and the broken hearts. Tired of crying and getting mad and putting up with annoying people. I'm tired of trying to please everyone at everything ever single minute of my life!

Now I'm moving on into a new place in my life. I'm getting rid of the old and starting with the new. I come closer to my bliss with every breath I take, with every word I write. I making something better of myself, and as this new book begins I begin to realize I'm moving closer to wisdom with every turn of the page...

Soundtrack to Your Life...

Description...

So here is Nathan's Psychological Description of me, because I loved it so much I asked him to write it down...

Leonor, Leonor...

I've known you since you we're about 3 minutes old. As my mom drove us to the hospital and said look at your new best friend. I heard some stories on how I threw a stuffed bear at you instead, but hey, can you blame me?

You are my Granger. The bossy, know-it-all that drives me out of my mind! You read too many books, you're WAY too clumsy, and sometimes I wouldn't mind shoving you against the wall and slapping you around when you get all book-smart with me! I can't stand being more than ten minutes in your presence. You are the most conceited, self-absorbed person in the planet.

Yet you drop all your problems the moment anyone needs help. You drive away the voices in my head! You put up with everything I put you through and then some. I promised your mom I would marry you when I was five (I might have to rethink that offer)...and I am your Malfoy for ever. And you are the matchmaker of all of us. You get people together, you break them apart and fix their relationships with some God-sent gift.

I wouldn't give you up for the world, because the world would be boring without you.

Yada yada, you know the drill

Nathan

p.s. I still don't like you...

Miss Chaos

I've lived a thousand dreams and lies
Learn to hate, to shout, despise

I've gone down that road before

Wasted time and galore...

I've dreamnt of feeling free

From all the minds leaning on me

I've wished for peace and wondering

Hoped to see what you've been seeing.

I wish the knife would stop

That that crimson would just be mopped

I've suffered from heart and soul

My story will now be told...

1993 was the year; a blond, blue eyes girl was born.

Her hair turned deep dark brown and her eyes into hazel green.
She learned to hate herself, and not trust what is not seen

So you can guess from all this, the small child in despair

Would never once learn what love was or compare it...

To all of live compare it to the heart

This loving child was doomed from the very start

She felt a mother's love, but even worse her pain

She protected her siblings from cold harsh rain

She smiled to her friends pretended to laugh along

She made herself look confident and strong

But the years went by slowly and this beauty could not part

She looked at herself in the mirror, and tears would only start

To drip down her face, as she questioned her existence

Little miss Chaos scared of her own resistance...

Upon came a soul, one beautifully deep

Free-spirited and all but weak...

She showed the way to a heart of gold

Sang a song that was meant for a soul

But as the little girl, who was all grown up now,

Felt such love, she ran with self doubt

She hoped that such feeling would leave her alone

Wished so hard to be away from this wonderful home

Away from all this because she was scared

Little Miss Chaos became quite scarce

She began to fade away, before all your eyes

Tell the truth now, how many of you realized?

She sung happy songs, danced a whole lot

But little Miss Chaos was soon going to rot

Listen my kitties, as the tale comes to end
Live your whole life...don't be scared...

xoxo

Chaos